& This is how we lose the weight

I know I haven’t been on in forever. Shame on me. I know I haven’t been doing much to lose weight. Shame on me. Truthfully, I’ve been avoiding this blog all together. But I do come on every once in a while to check in on E :), and of course her blog is still amazing. I could say I’m sorry about not coming on, and not posting news, but what good would that do if I didn’t actually do something about it. Well readers, I know I need to do something about this, and trust me I have been on the verge of doing just that. Please, if you see me slacking, kick me in the butt. I feel like I’m doing this on my own, which is completely crazy because I know for a fact that I’m not. Oh and you can thank Brooke (135) for me to even be posting right now. She’s such a great friend, and she’s been trying to give me a nice little kick in the butt lately. She’s the reason why I’m even on right now. I’ve been keeping up with soccer, and eating decently enough, but I need to do more. Any ideas? Let me know people.

madisonanne:

(via heeaatthheer)

Sometimes I just look at myself, and think about the future. Will I be skinny. Will I still have friends. Will highschool suck. Will my life end up not being a very good one. So many thoughts run through my mind, and I always find that its hard to ask myself those questions. I know what I want out of my life, but it seems I can never achieve those things. No matter how much I want them.

I use to be skinny, and its weird to look at pictures of when I was younger because I know I was skinny, and I know that I am able to be skinny if I just tried harder. If I ate healthy, and excercised a bit more I could be. I know I could be. I also know that I was skinny until I moved to Kentucky. I was tiny, and I had the blue eyes and blonde hair going for me. That was over 6 years ago. Since then I have gained a lot of weight, my hair has turned one of the ugliest blondes I’ve ever seen, and I tend to question where that skinny, perfect little girl went. I miss her, and I want to be her again.

I keep saying to myself, and to you guys that I’m going to be serious about losing weight. After all, its what I really want. But  I feel like I’m holding myself back from losing weight. I don’t know why, but its like I keep finding these stupid excuses. I have friends, so being fat can’t be a big deal. People always tell me I’m pretty, so maybe I’m not so fat. I am good at sports, which means I’m healthy. I’ve dated boys before, so apparently they don’t mind I’m overweight. Its like if I keep telling myself these things, I can delay trying to loose weight for just a slight bit of time. But I know what I want. I want to be healthy in every way. I want to feel pretty. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life over weight.

I also know the only way for me to do this, is if I stop setting myself up for failure. Losing weight won’t happen in a day. Its a day to day thing after all, and I need to just take it one step at a time. So this is that step. The first and most important one. I’m going to do this if it kills me. (That might be a little to dramatic, but it fits.) I want this more then I ever wanted anything else before. Therefor its up to me to do it. And I promise to you, and most importantly to myself that I will do this.

and we made plans to hang out tomorrow. We are going to walk, and swim :)

Be excited

Breakfast: Nutrigrain bar + banana + 1 cup of milk= 343

Snack 1: Quakers Rice snacks = 60 calories

Lunch: Roast beef sandwich with american cheese and less then a tbsp of mayo + quakers rice snack = 390 calories

Snack 2: Yogurt = 110 calories

Dinner: Lean Cousine Meal + peice of bread = 300 calories

Desert: Carmel flavored quackers rice cake (Not really a cake, but it sure is tastey) = 120

Total Calories: 1323

one-twenty-five:

(via blogsecret)